Why aren't you in a relationship?


I swear, I get this question at least once a week. It's becoming draining. 

 The pressure from family and friends is definitely up there. And If you've ever had the privilege of meeting my mother, you know how intense she can be. I've even had a couple of patients try to set me up with their sons, nephews, brothers, etc. #toomuch I appreciate everyone's concern. Really, I do. But I'm totally content in my singleness... at least for now.

What? No. Can't Be. She lying. For real? YES!

Relationships require a lot of work. And at this time, I need to be focusing my energy toward working on myself. Follow me, here: 

  • How can I require xyz from someone, if I'm not offering xyz?
  • What is it I need to work on within myself?

Too vague,  Okay. Let's be clear! 

  • I want a Godly or God- fearing man, but how's my relationship with God?
  • I want a man who can handle his finances, however, are my accounts where they should be? Does my budget balance? How is my portfolio trending?
  • I want a man who is ambitiously achieving his dreams, am I ambitiously knocking out my life goals?
  • I want a man with a nice car and his own place, have I achieved such possessions?
  • I want a man who truly loves me, yet am I willing to become vulnerable enough to allow him the chance to do so? Am I emotionally available?
  • His body needs to be A1, yet is my body model status? curves tight? 
  • I want a man who is a leader, but can I submit and follow?
  • I want a man who respects my opinions, do I respect his?
  • I want a man who treats me like a Queen, yet do I return the favor? 
  • I want a man, am I a woman? Do I embody the characteristics of one? (Some may need to reread.)
  • I want my man to be my best friend. Yet do I know what it means to be a  best friend to another or even myself? 

(SN: This post is in first person. Nevertheless, you may need to question yourself.)

I could go on and on, yet the point remains the same. It starts with myself. Do I have a lot to offer, of course! But my work isn't done. At least, not for the relationship I want. Both parties need to be bringing quality to the table. One sided relationships are never everlasting.

So why aren't you in a relationship? Because the energy needed for a relationship, I've decided to focus it towards personal growth and self discovery. 

I'm not saying not to date or not to be in a relationship. 

I'm saying be the reflection in the mirror. Establish in yourself, what you want to see in your partner. And your dream person will come!


Here is the Bonus Checklist as promised. Be honest with yourself, for best results.

P.S. If you appreciate this free bonus, I would be super excited if you shared it with your friends. Thanks. Continue being awesome!